Dark Side Ramblings
by HybridPlaything
Summary: A look at Duo's thoughts and the way his mind flows. Slightly darker then my other fics, but not by much I suppose. Will be rated M for safety. 02x03
1. Chapter 1

**Duo Maxwell**

The Jester. The Death Dealer. Two Faced Clown. Sadist. Masochist. Murderer. Terrorist. Hero.

I have had many names, and all of them are mine but none are truly me. Duo is what my first family named me. The Duo to his Solo, but like all things, that life came to an end with plague. I would later realize that pestilence was another member of my family, but much later, after I had lost my first and second family. Maxwell my second name. Taken from the remains of the burning ruins of the church that housed my second family. Hell had descended upon a House of God seeking to reclaim the demon that had escaped it's confines, but it failed. You see I'm rather good at escaping and when I escaped Hell I made sure that it would take an act of God to get me back there.

It was after the loss of Solo, Father Maxwell and Sister Helen that I met up with Pestilence, or as he was formally known Professor G. He saw me for what I really was; a demon in a child's clothing. An escape artist, a mathematical genius, a mechanic. But most importantly a tool. I could never be controlled though, persuaded yes, but not controlled. It was this persuasion that trained me, taught me to maximize the skills hones after years of living on the street, refined with paranoia and fine tuned with less then legal pilot training.

Yeah the scientist was as crazy as I was to become, or perhaps I already was. I can't be sure because I don't really ever recall not feeling this way. I know what G did was in no way related to the mission but he set me up to expect worse then I got. I think he wanted someone like Heero, but I had already perfected the Jester when we had met. What G helped create was the Shinigami, the God of Death, and I think Ol' Pestilence was satisfied with the result. No I'm damn sure he enjoyed the result as he always had something to witty to add to his e-mailed missions. My favorite being, _'Thanatos stop dallying with Hypnos and spread Pestilence'_ This of course referred to me sleeping instead of spreading the hallucinogenic gas he had sent in perpetration for my newest mission. Bastard had the nerve to name the batch Orphan Tears, the man knew how to make me laugh and want to kill him at the same time but he also knew that my sense of humor would keep him alive. Did I mention he was a Bastard?

Recently I have chosen to be called Azrael; not because of his connotation with Death but from a pre-colony movie. _Dogma_ I believe it was called; Yes, me and the character Azrael had a lot in common. I for one would gladly wipe everything from existence to end my suffering in a Hell I felt I was wrongly cast into. I had nearly tried to do that in space during the war with my busted up buddy Deathscythe; I loved that machine more then anything since the fall of the Maxwell church. I know the ghost in the machine registered my existence, I also know that's why he refused to self detonate. I could not survive space without him and he was protecting me. Just as Sandrock had protected Quatre, yes he confided that in me, I knew Quatre at least understood that the gundams weren't just metal husks.

I will admit that a piece of me died when Trowa killed Deathscythe, yes Trowa confessed to that, and I think if he had told me any other time then when he did, well, I might have killed him. I don't know how he did it, not kill my buddy I saw that to know how, but to see me and accept me. He saw what I was, he knew what I was just like he knew what the lions were at the circus. And he knew to project a non-threatening aura and yield to my dominance. Just like Quatre and most of the time Wufei, but he was a fun challenge with his Justice spiels. Heero however never yielded, no he dominated. I was never one to be submissive despite the Jester's mask. This is probably why we clashed so often.

Ah yes back to Trowa. I always thought he would end up with Quatre, but low and behold Kitty Kat ended up with former Queen Relena. Shocker there, apparently Relena was the shoulder Quatre leaned on after whatever Dorthy did to him. I don't much remember and Quatre doesn't like to talk about it so it's dust under the rug. Wufei ended up with Heero; don't ask me to explain 'cause I'm still trying to work that one out myself. It's a mystery really and I'm more of an equations solver not a theory and philosopher. Me, I got Trowa. Tall, handsome and surprisingly submissive, most of the time. I let him have control every now and then to keep things interesting and to keep my lover happy. I am a fair man after all. Remember _I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie._ Believe me I don not lie, if I don't want you to know something I just don't tell you. It's not a lie by omission 'cause I have neither confirmed nor denied information and I have not given any leading information either. Trowa has never lied to me. I would see it to easily and it would break my trust in him, he knows this and so he does not lie. The truth is often more painful then a lie but there are some lies that could break a person. Forgive my rambling my mind doesn't always remain on track.

Trowa calls me Azrael, he knows It makes me smile, but during our passion filled nights he embraces all my names and calls out to each one lovingly. He is mine as much as I am his. I know who he is, just as he knows me. I did the blood work for Catherine Bloom. I returned her Triton Bloom, but he is still my Trowa, my Nanashi or No Name. He has many name just as I do and I have called each one in passion as he has mine. I don't know if it's love, since the only one's I have loved were only ever perceived as family. Trowa is different and he makes me possessive; he hasn't commented on it but I think sometimes he worries about it. Or me, or maybe the people I perceive as a threat to him, to us. There is still copious amounts of bigotry in the world, so in my twisted mind my possessiveness is justified.

Oh I didn't realize I had begun to fall into my artistic mode. I didn't even notice when I picked up this particular shiv, a remnant from when Trowa shot my Deathscythe. A gift from the sweeper family that had taken in G and myself. Hm, the shiv is dull, the lines will be thicker. Blood is such a beautiful color, and my Trowa, despite all his protests, loves seeing me covered in it. He is as wicked as I am, I have the truth engraved into my shoulder. _Nanashi_ is jaggedly scarred there to forever remind me of his claim, just as _Beloved_ is engraved above his heart. This is his specific term to encompass all my names and I know I am truly cherished by him. I know because I have just taken this term of his and carved it upon my forearm. He is my Beloved and I am his. He is home, I can hear the lock on the front door, and tonight I will relenquish control. I want to feel loved and only Trowa can make me feel that way.

Yes tonight I will be submissive to my beloved one and he will know. He knows; he is stalking toward me with that look. He is a predator and he has scented the blood on the air, I love to see him like this, as twisted as I am.

Just like me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Trowa**

I carry many names and no name, though my lover is torn between Trowa and Nanashi. I think he secretly favors Nanashi as that is the name I imprinted upon his flesh. Yes my mind often wanders to my love after working at the circus. Tonight was the last show before winter sets in; Duo will be pleased to have to himself for a few months.

I still find myself incredibly lucky to have ended up in the grace of pilot 02. The dark seduction he spun was lost on the other pilots, but not me. He was like one of the many big cats I worked with yet he was not a broken soul seeking protection, he was the opposite, a fiercely bright soul seeking someone to claim and protect. I was happy to fill that role and oonce we were alone I made my intentions clear.

It was quiet night and the others were away on missions. Quatre on a solo and Heero was paired with Wufei leaving me and Duo in the safe house. My love was agitated and restless that night, he paced the living room like a caged beaast with too much energy. His lithe body moving with grace, muscle rippling beneathe pale skin and his carmael braid ficking back and forth like a tail on an agitated cat. When he noticed me his eyes narrowed before he smiled and asked _Something the matter Trowa?_ I had shook my head in the negative and asked if we could talk a bit. He seemed to think it was better then pacing in a circles and he joined me on the couch. His entire body screamed for me to submit and so I did, a slight tilt to bare my throat to him and the lowering of my eyes seemed to be all it took to get him to relax and start asking questions about the time I infiltrated OZ. I knew what he was really asking.

He wanted to know who delivered the death blow to his beloved gundam and I wasn't stupid enough to lie to the God of Death. I confessed to my misdeed and his very quietly replied _I do believe you owe me Trowa. My room now._ I did as told, I knew he intended it to be a punishment, he probably believed I wouldn't ever consider bottoming to another male. It didn't quite work out as planned, I became addicted. I found that I liked giving up control, I enjoyed the power he held over me and I think he began to enjoy me. It wasn't until Heero expressed his interest in my lover did I become assertive and Duo rewarded me by actually submitting to me. I was shocked at first but I enjoyed it; he probably does too but will never admit it. That first time I wsa in control though I marked him as mine, and told him as much. His reaction was unexpectedly pleasant, a throaty moan and demands for me to prove that he was indeed mine.

His gundamium shiv was my tool of choice that night. _Nanashi_ was carved into his flesh, the blood from the wound made him look so erotic that I took him many times before I let him have control. Still covered in blood he smiled a predator's smile at me and took the bloody shiv and brought it to my heart. _You're mine Trowa. What should I put here so that every knows it?_ Beloved fell from my lips before I could even think but we both knew it was the truth; I loved him more then anything and that one word was enough to sum up all his names into one. He didn't hesitate to smile wider as the blade bit into my flesh; he reveled in the blood and once it was done He took me until we both passed out from exhaustion.

Heero found us like that a few hours later; he was just going to let us know that he had returned from his mission but I think he had a slight breakdown at the sight of two of his comrades covered in blood and wrapped in a lover's embrace. He was silent and asked if we had been attacked while he and the others were gone and if the safe house was comprimised; Duo being the animal he was grinned ans said _Heero, does it look like any OZ soliders have managed to infiltrate this little hell hole? No, I didn't think so as for being attacked...Trowa and me might've attacked one another but not in the way you're thinking. Now do ya mind leaving I think I want another tussle with my lover._ The poor asian just narrowed his eyes at me as if I had stolen Duo but my lover wouldn't tolerate that and he actually let out a feral growl to warn the other male not to push his luck. Heero left and we had our tussle in the shower to clean and dress our wounds.

It wasn't till my wound healed did I realize why Duo had put my endearment for him above my heart. He often takes me while facing my and he enjoys to lick and nip at my scarred flesh; it is surprisingly sensitive and he uses that to his advantage over me. His love is wild, forceful, and rough but it is something I enjoy as it fits him so well and I believe there are very few people who could handle him. Heero definitely wouldn't have been able to satisify my love, mainly because my love is a seme and I'm positive Heero is too, but I don't think Heero would ever be an uke even to please his lover as Duo often does for me. I take him nearly as often as he takes me, it is a good balance for our relationship.

I spent all my walk home reminicing and time seemed to fly so fast, Hm? The apartment is dark and quiet. Oh did my love just moan, what is that naughty animal up to? Ah I see...Hm..._Beloved_. I believe I should reward my Beloved, I love him covered in crimson. Perhaps when I done with him I will let him carve Duo upon my shoulder. If I leave him with enough strength to stand after wards. He was expecting me to ravage him tonight, the little demon, yes I will ravage him. He can mark my body tomorrow, tonight I will show him how much I love him.

I love you, my dirty little demon.


End file.
